March 23, 2017
The title of this post appears in Maha Upanishad.
It loosely translates to "Vasudha eva kutumbakam" = "The entire earth (and its inhabitants) are one family". Please keep thinking about that!
Discovering my dream(s) :
When I first left India to work as a software developer at London in 2005, I did not have any experience with the western life style. I remember attending a training session at Infosys, Chennai, my then work place, on cross-cultural sensitivity. Among other things, I learnt how to use a knife and fork, how the usage of English varies between India - Great Britain and America, casual and formal salutations for people at work place and mainstream society etc.
I was overwhelmed and intimidated to set foot in a foreign land and live all by myself for the next few months.
Since then, I have lived in the "western" side of this "divided" world for a little over a decade now. I started a family in this part of the world. This is not a cliched dream come true for me. I never dreamt of making it "big" in the world. In fact, when I finished my under graduation, I did not have dreams. I had very clear short term goals. I was very successful in achieving all of them.
I started dreaming in 2009.
My dreams coincided ( or may be not? ) with the most trying period of my life so far.
Major illness to a parent, loss of my first pregnancy to a rare medical condition shattered my world of successful short term accomplishments. The world was wide open and I had a fresh set of eyes , not literally, outlook of course :) (That's the best as far as my sense of humour goes ).
The first thing I did was to shed the identity that I held on to so far - I quit my engineering job, stopped interacting with my friends, and went into a quiet period of search.
My search started revealing what my dreams would be like. I called it "research" initially, now I would like to call it "svadhyaya" - "moving closer to s(S)elf by studying".
While undergoing this journey 2 things happened to me.
First, I started listening to the calling in me to explore teaching. At that point, I assumed a calling to be a teacher to school children and make them wiser in doing Math, Science and Computers ( given my skill set). So, as a first step I started interacting with school children. I volunteered as a mentor for a middle school in the neighbourhood. Then, I applied to do my teaching certification for K-12 at UT, Austin. I told myself that I wanted to work with middle school aged kids because I had just started mentoring a 13 year old and was fascinated that I could hold on conversations with her week after week :).
It was not going well. It was like I had opened the cliched Pandora's box. My relationship issues and confidence issues came to the fore front and the calling and my efforts did not seem to connect. So, I quit the UT program, stopped mentoring.
Then I gave birth to my son(and later my daughter in 2015). What a blessing and joy they are in my life! I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be their mother and a mother's heart undergoes changes that cannot be anatomically described ever! Once you have the heart of a mother, you are a mother forever ( even when there is no child! ).
The period of unrest - East or West:
While I was concentrating and directing all my efforts on being a full time mother, I encountered a chance conversation with my mother-in-law on Vishnu Purana. That intrigued me and I started spending my down time on "researching" "ancient Indian scriptures". There was a parallel world that exploded and expanded right before me , like "The Big Bang Theory" or “Bramhanda Visphotak” (Yes, you are getting a hang on my humor sense ).
Discovering, reading and then studying one topic after the other on ancient scriptures and their vast commentaries revealed an "alternate" world of living and lifestyle to me. It had no bearing to the present day world and yet it was by no means out dated. It was so relevant in today's world and yet sadly not showing itself. Starting with giving birth and being born and until you forego the breathing body behind and beyond, there exists a completely different way of living and doing. The unused brain cells started opening up towards all the "alternate" ways. In Vedic thoughts, there is a complete world of knowledge which is independent and parallel to modern education - Language, Math, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Art, Medicine, Surgery, Geography, History, Astronomy, Education, Warfare, Politics and every other branch of study!
With that knowledge, comes confusion. Now there is more than one way of living, thinking, even breathing! My mind took the wrong direction of determining which was the best! What a nasty route that is! But, going down that route was essential for me to be where I am today!
East or West, Home (Vasudha) is the best:
I said that route was nasty, because I was caught in the duality of "us" vs "them”. Slowing down in mind, creating purposeful experiences and taking accountability for my thoughts, words and actions led me to a place where I could relate to those around me from a heart space rather than the head space.
The transformation into exploring "other" perspectives, debating to find the best, realizing "Vasudeva Kutumbakam" is nothing short of amazing, humbling and gratifying.
I'm learning so much about ancient India (Bharath) , its richness in traditions and values, its contributions to the mankind and the planet, the atrocities of "us vs them" attitude and much more which words fail to express.
I'm opening up to reach out to myself, my dear ones and the community at large through study,
practice and teaching yoga. Is that what the call to teaching was about?
The title of this post appears in Maha Upanishad.
It loosely translates to "Vasudha eva kutumbakam" = "The entire earth (and its inhabitants) are one family". Please keep thinking about that!
Discovering my dream(s) :
When I first left India to work as a software developer at London in 2005, I did not have any experience with the western life style. I remember attending a training session at Infosys, Chennai, my then work place, on cross-cultural sensitivity. Among other things, I learnt how to use a knife and fork, how the usage of English varies between India - Great Britain and America, casual and formal salutations for people at work place and mainstream society etc.
I was overwhelmed and intimidated to set foot in a foreign land and live all by myself for the next few months.
Since then, I have lived in the "western" side of this "divided" world for a little over a decade now. I started a family in this part of the world. This is not a cliched dream come true for me. I never dreamt of making it "big" in the world. In fact, when I finished my under graduation, I did not have dreams. I had very clear short term goals. I was very successful in achieving all of them.
I started dreaming in 2009.
My dreams coincided ( or may be not? ) with the most trying period of my life so far.
Major illness to a parent, loss of my first pregnancy to a rare medical condition shattered my world of successful short term accomplishments. The world was wide open and I had a fresh set of eyes , not literally, outlook of course :) (That's the best as far as my sense of humour goes ).
The first thing I did was to shed the identity that I held on to so far - I quit my engineering job, stopped interacting with my friends, and went into a quiet period of search.
My search started revealing what my dreams would be like. I called it "research" initially, now I would like to call it "svadhyaya" - "moving closer to s(S)elf by studying".
While undergoing this journey 2 things happened to me.
First, I started listening to the calling in me to explore teaching. At that point, I assumed a calling to be a teacher to school children and make them wiser in doing Math, Science and Computers ( given my skill set). So, as a first step I started interacting with school children. I volunteered as a mentor for a middle school in the neighbourhood. Then, I applied to do my teaching certification for K-12 at UT, Austin. I told myself that I wanted to work with middle school aged kids because I had just started mentoring a 13 year old and was fascinated that I could hold on conversations with her week after week :).
It was not going well. It was like I had opened the cliched Pandora's box. My relationship issues and confidence issues came to the fore front and the calling and my efforts did not seem to connect. So, I quit the UT program, stopped mentoring.
Then I gave birth to my son(and later my daughter in 2015). What a blessing and joy they are in my life! I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be their mother and a mother's heart undergoes changes that cannot be anatomically described ever! Once you have the heart of a mother, you are a mother forever ( even when there is no child! ).
The period of unrest - East or West:
While I was concentrating and directing all my efforts on being a full time mother, I encountered a chance conversation with my mother-in-law on Vishnu Purana. That intrigued me and I started spending my down time on "researching" "ancient Indian scriptures". There was a parallel world that exploded and expanded right before me , like "The Big Bang Theory" or “Bramhanda Visphotak” (Yes, you are getting a hang on my humor sense ).
Discovering, reading and then studying one topic after the other on ancient scriptures and their vast commentaries revealed an "alternate" world of living and lifestyle to me. It had no bearing to the present day world and yet it was by no means out dated. It was so relevant in today's world and yet sadly not showing itself. Starting with giving birth and being born and until you forego the breathing body behind and beyond, there exists a completely different way of living and doing. The unused brain cells started opening up towards all the "alternate" ways. In Vedic thoughts, there is a complete world of knowledge which is independent and parallel to modern education - Language, Math, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Art, Medicine, Surgery, Geography, History, Astronomy, Education, Warfare, Politics and every other branch of study!
With that knowledge, comes confusion. Now there is more than one way of living, thinking, even breathing! My mind took the wrong direction of determining which was the best! What a nasty route that is! But, going down that route was essential for me to be where I am today!
East or West, Home (Vasudha) is the best:
I said that route was nasty, because I was caught in the duality of "us" vs "them”. Slowing down in mind, creating purposeful experiences and taking accountability for my thoughts, words and actions led me to a place where I could relate to those around me from a heart space rather than the head space.
The transformation into exploring "other" perspectives, debating to find the best, realizing "Vasudeva Kutumbakam" is nothing short of amazing, humbling and gratifying.
I'm learning so much about ancient India (Bharath) , its richness in traditions and values, its contributions to the mankind and the planet, the atrocities of "us vs them" attitude and much more which words fail to express.
I'm opening up to reach out to myself, my dear ones and the community at large through study,
practice and teaching yoga. Is that what the call to teaching was about?
Well written!! Keep going :-)
ReplyDelete